Monday, April 6, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
10 ways to survive your 9-5 Job
How many of us work a 9-5 that they are bored to death. Some of may work jobs that require us to come to work whenever they choose. But this for the office desk worker with no cubicle or wall hiding them, security officers, any front desk staff, supermarket clerks, stockroom people, custodians, anything that deal with you starring at the samething for 8hours!! These rules I will lay before have helped me and several other. You must swear to privacy upon this blog and never let your boss see this, and if you are a boss don't be a dick about it please!!
1) 4 bathroom breaks!! Now it not about just using the bathroom it how you do it and must be split up right or you will lose. The time limits for each 5min, 5min, 20min, then the 30min one. How you use them use them wisely! This could kill major time.
2) Walk around with paper. Their nothing that makes you look busy then walkin around with a piece of paper with writing on it. No one can tell your bullshitting(but you are) but if you look busy in the face walkin back and fourth with a piece of paper you can waste 20min up to a hour of time.
3)Throw away garbage even if it not yours. Look around your job area you can always find garbage. Pick it up make yourself look productive and working. Just walk around picking up shit as long as it leads you away from work and kill time. Time estimate all day thing.
4) Text messaging on the low!!
This rule is dangerous but kills time, but still dangerous if you don't know how to do it. All day thing!!
5) Lunch Runs. People are always hungry. Always when you step ask anyone especially your boss if he or she want something. Their greedy asses will say yes even if they are full they will ask for something a apple coffee or newspaper. Whatever they want make sure they know it far from work. This is a 20min task.
If u haven't got fired yet you are doing great okay here we go!!
6) Phone calls. Act is if your making job related calls but call an entertaining friend who doesn't bore you this can kill 30min at a time.
7) Find a closet stairwell or go back to bathroom!! Hide in their and count the spots on the floor. This will only kill 2min. Why because you may think your killing time but it in your head!
8) Puzzles in the newspaper. Depending how much patience you have it can kill 5mins.
9) Gossip with co-worker. Nothing kills time than listening to your co-worker gossip about people you work with. But becareful not to share your buisness. Depending on gossiper this can last all day.
10) Last and not least read all my blogs, get caught and not care!!! Or just do your damn job
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!
1) 4 bathroom breaks!! Now it not about just using the bathroom it how you do it and must be split up right or you will lose. The time limits for each 5min, 5min, 20min, then the 30min one. How you use them use them wisely! This could kill major time.
2) Walk around with paper. Their nothing that makes you look busy then walkin around with a piece of paper with writing on it. No one can tell your bullshitting(but you are) but if you look busy in the face walkin back and fourth with a piece of paper you can waste 20min up to a hour of time.
3)Throw away garbage even if it not yours. Look around your job area you can always find garbage. Pick it up make yourself look productive and working. Just walk around picking up shit as long as it leads you away from work and kill time. Time estimate all day thing.
4) Text messaging on the low!!
This rule is dangerous but kills time, but still dangerous if you don't know how to do it. All day thing!!
5) Lunch Runs. People are always hungry. Always when you step ask anyone especially your boss if he or she want something. Their greedy asses will say yes even if they are full they will ask for something a apple coffee or newspaper. Whatever they want make sure they know it far from work. This is a 20min task.
If u haven't got fired yet you are doing great okay here we go!!
6) Phone calls. Act is if your making job related calls but call an entertaining friend who doesn't bore you this can kill 30min at a time.
7) Find a closet stairwell or go back to bathroom!! Hide in their and count the spots on the floor. This will only kill 2min. Why because you may think your killing time but it in your head!
8) Puzzles in the newspaper. Depending how much patience you have it can kill 5mins.
9) Gossip with co-worker. Nothing kills time than listening to your co-worker gossip about people you work with. But becareful not to share your buisness. Depending on gossiper this can last all day.
10) Last and not least read all my blogs, get caught and not care!!! Or just do your damn job
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!
Harlem World is a FairyTALE
As a child some of us that were fortunate to believe that their was a Santa Clause, Easter bunny, Tooth fairy, even that their was a reindeer running around with a huge stop light on his face. But as we got older things came to unravil. That was daddy eating the christmas cookies, or rabbits aren't that fuckin tall, and everytime I asked that fat bastard for sum real shit I'd get a train set!!!
I use to be a huge Mase fan when I was in highschool. He use to rap about tales of a place called Harlem World. He told stories about money flying out of the sky. He told stories of beautiful glittery women dancing on the streets. Puff Daddy was another storyteller!! He told similiar stories of people harlem shaking in the streets. Colorful streets, people happy dacing, face painting,shit you would think they were serving cotton candy 24/7!!! They both made me believe this place was a real sesame street. They made me believe money flew out the sky!!! I believed these muthafuckers!!!
I went to Harlem World and boy was in for a real big suprise. First of all its not even a world it not even a damn borough!!! See when u ask a local ignorant NewYorker were are they from you will probably hear Harlem, Queens Bridge, Brownsville or Brook-lawn(shaking my head) the X and rickers island!!! No one knows well most do Harlem is located in Manhattan and is just a area location. That was the first lie!!
Second were was the Harlem shakers, Their were none just crackheads!!! They appeared to be dancing but they were itching for more drugs that piece of Micheal Phelp swimming through their veins!! Instead of money flyin out of the sky, I saw stick up kids emptying people pockets for their hard earned money!!! I want up their with my shiny suit all ready to join the festivities and the only one dressed like me was a old as pimp stuck in the Kurtis blow era!! As matter fact my shiny suit was yellow just like in the video and cops gave me a ticket for unproper use of high beams, then I almost got my suit taken from a hatian voodoo princess because she thought I was some type of sun god. I was like what have these people done to Mase's Harlem world. I screamed Mase!!!!!!!. Then everyone stopped and looked at me with anger in their face. These people don't even like mase as one person threw a brick my way!!! "You and Mase go fuck yourself" they said.
Harlem World doesn't exist I can't believe this shit Why why whyyyyyyyyyy. Mase almost got me killed then I though I saw the dancing women and they were prostitutes, hookers, jezebels, tramps!!!!
Never again will I believe rap again!!!
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!
I use to be a huge Mase fan when I was in highschool. He use to rap about tales of a place called Harlem World. He told stories about money flying out of the sky. He told stories of beautiful glittery women dancing on the streets. Puff Daddy was another storyteller!! He told similiar stories of people harlem shaking in the streets. Colorful streets, people happy dacing, face painting,shit you would think they were serving cotton candy 24/7!!! They both made me believe this place was a real sesame street. They made me believe money flew out the sky!!! I believed these muthafuckers!!!
I went to Harlem World and boy was in for a real big suprise. First of all its not even a world it not even a damn borough!!! See when u ask a local ignorant NewYorker were are they from you will probably hear Harlem, Queens Bridge, Brownsville or Brook-lawn(shaking my head) the X and rickers island!!! No one knows well most do Harlem is located in Manhattan and is just a area location. That was the first lie!!
Second were was the Harlem shakers, Their were none just crackheads!!! They appeared to be dancing but they were itching for more drugs that piece of Micheal Phelp swimming through their veins!! Instead of money flyin out of the sky, I saw stick up kids emptying people pockets for their hard earned money!!! I want up their with my shiny suit all ready to join the festivities and the only one dressed like me was a old as pimp stuck in the Kurtis blow era!! As matter fact my shiny suit was yellow just like in the video and cops gave me a ticket for unproper use of high beams, then I almost got my suit taken from a hatian voodoo princess because she thought I was some type of sun god. I was like what have these people done to Mase's Harlem world. I screamed Mase!!!!!!!. Then everyone stopped and looked at me with anger in their face. These people don't even like mase as one person threw a brick my way!!! "You and Mase go fuck yourself" they said.
Harlem World doesn't exist I can't believe this shit Why why whyyyyyyyyyy. Mase almost got me killed then I though I saw the dancing women and they were prostitutes, hookers, jezebels, tramps!!!!
Never again will I believe rap again!!!
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
I BELIEVE NICK HOLLYWood is COmedy CAMPAIN
IF I CAN MAKE 2 PEOPLE LAUGH...THEN I HAVE MADE 20 LAUGH IF I MAKE 20 PEOPLE LAUGH THEN I HAVE MADE 100 LAUGH,AND IF I MAKE 100 LAUGH THEN I HAVE THE WORLD!! THIS IS MORE THAN JUST THE MONEY AND MANGOES FOR ME IT BOUT THE COMEDY THE FAME AND O YEAH THE LOVE....BUT SHIT NOT TO CONTRADICT MYSELF IT ALSO BOUT THE MONEY......SOMETHING ABOUT MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH OR A SMILE ON THEIR FACE GETS ME HIGH ALONE N I STRIVE TO DO NEW AND MORE EVERY DAY HEY I SELL MANGOES EVERY 7OCLOCK IN THE MORNING ON THE VANWYCK......I LOOK UP IN THE SKY N WISH AND WONDER WHATS NEW OVER THAT GREAT WALL OF CHINA ....DOES THEIR CHICKEN AND BROCCOLI TASTE THE SAME AS THE ONE IN THE HOOD?...ILL NEVER KNOW TILL I MAKE IT!!
( Blog in 04)
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!!
( Blog in 04)
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!!
TRUE GHETTO STORY
The other I was listening to some throw back music by Alicia keys while feeding my giga pet. Yes I still own one, mine never died because I take care of it. Anyway I was listen to her song true life ghetto story and I was like hey why not tell mine. I can't afford the jamaican she had on her track to help me so after you read each line just say Bumbaclot!! Ok here we go!!
My story!! Here my true ghetto storyyyyyyyyyyyy!!
I SEE GREEN BENCHES ACL BROKEN AND POTENTIAL CRACK LORDS, UPPIDY HOES WORKING AT WHITE CASTLES FIENDING 4 THAT PAY CHECK TO WAIT ALL NIGHT AND MORNING FOR THE NEW JORDANS, NEXTEL CHIRPING AND THEIR FRIENDS ARE RIGHT NEXT TO THEM,RING TONE WARS, BEEF THRU AOL MESSENGER IN CHAT ROOMS WITH PEOPLE THEY NEVER MET, PREGENANT WOMEN MODELING WITH THEIR SHIRT UP IN MUSIC VIDEOS, 9 YEAR OLD TAKING THE TRAIN AT 9CLOCK AT NIGHT, FLIGHT JACKETS BEING SOLD MORE THAN 30DOLLARS, EVERY BASKETBALL PLAYER AND RAPPER HAS A CLOTHING LINE WHAT THE FUCK HAPPPENED 2 THE CREATIVITY, GUM COST 30CENT, A SLICE IS NOW A $1.85 NEARLY 2DOLLARS HAVE TO PAY 5CENT EXTRA FOR A STRAW, GANG MEMBERS TRADING SIDES LIKE BASKETBALL CARDS, NO ONE SNITCHING ANYMORE INNOCENT CATS BEING RUNOVER, A ROTI SHOP ON EVERYCORNER TAKING OVER THE CHINAMAN HUSTLE,
THIS IS MY TRUE GHETTO STORY SAY YES THIS IS MY STORY!!!!
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!!
My story!! Here my true ghetto storyyyyyyyyyyyy!!
I SEE GREEN BENCHES ACL BROKEN AND POTENTIAL CRACK LORDS, UPPIDY HOES WORKING AT WHITE CASTLES FIENDING 4 THAT PAY CHECK TO WAIT ALL NIGHT AND MORNING FOR THE NEW JORDANS, NEXTEL CHIRPING AND THEIR FRIENDS ARE RIGHT NEXT TO THEM,RING TONE WARS, BEEF THRU AOL MESSENGER IN CHAT ROOMS WITH PEOPLE THEY NEVER MET, PREGENANT WOMEN MODELING WITH THEIR SHIRT UP IN MUSIC VIDEOS, 9 YEAR OLD TAKING THE TRAIN AT 9CLOCK AT NIGHT, FLIGHT JACKETS BEING SOLD MORE THAN 30DOLLARS, EVERY BASKETBALL PLAYER AND RAPPER HAS A CLOTHING LINE WHAT THE FUCK HAPPPENED 2 THE CREATIVITY, GUM COST 30CENT, A SLICE IS NOW A $1.85 NEARLY 2DOLLARS HAVE TO PAY 5CENT EXTRA FOR A STRAW, GANG MEMBERS TRADING SIDES LIKE BASKETBALL CARDS, NO ONE SNITCHING ANYMORE INNOCENT CATS BEING RUNOVER, A ROTI SHOP ON EVERYCORNER TAKING OVER THE CHINAMAN HUSTLE,
THIS IS MY TRUE GHETTO STORY SAY YES THIS IS MY STORY!!!!
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!!
SHE dont WANT YOu GO THAT WAY!!
My fellow male Americans sometime we are just misunderstood but are we? Time have changed when you can just walk up to a women and say hey may I have this dance? Or exscuse me you are very dashing what is your name? Can I have your number so we may talk? Hey can we go for a walk?
If u try this now in the Obama era.. You will get WhAt!!!, Get the fuck out of here!! I look beautiful your mother muthafucka!, here my number 1-800 get lost, You wanna walk, walk up your mother ass!!!
Yes sad but true!! See we can blame the female that the old fashioned way is gone. But hey we kinda mess it up by when a nice looking lady walks by we a) grab her arm and growl yo come here what's good for tonite!! B) At club we try to dance behind them with a erection harder than brimstone C) If we say hi and they don't reply. We may say " YO what the fuck, O you aint gonna say hi fuck you bitch U bitch slut slut slut!!!
Now some females may actually like that but those are the ones that listen to DMX!! Now I've done a study some men talk to girls for long periods of time think their going somewhere and are getting no where,and when I mean no where I mean like you tryin to find parkin on wall street No where!! Then when you find out, you end up watching re-runs of Hogan heroes or Sex in city not by accidnet but because your tryin to find answers. Well here's some tips that might let you know before hand she not interested!!
1) If the text messages go from hey how was your day or I miss you to just simple texts like.( Hey). (K). Or (smh). :( or. I guess or simply ............... She doesn't want you
2) If you only talk thru text and never received a call ever and you do call and she send you to voice mail and she texts you back and say I don't like speakin on phone but talks to others, cmon dog she has a phone so she can talk she can text on computer lol she doesn't want you!!!
3) If u tell her she looks good and she replys don't you have work to do ..... She doesn't want you.
4) Fellas if you do get the date and she goes on and on about how great all her ex boyfriends are during dinner and recieves $500 dollars gifts from him still and says we just friends she doesn't want you!!
5) If you ask her out on a date and she say no I'm busy but that same day goes to same place you wanted to go with her girlfriend ... She doesn't want you!!!
6) If u guys speak and she goes on and on about how all guys are dogsss all day .. Man just leave her alone!!
Now I may not have answered all of them but ladies and men please add on to the madness in the comments!!!
Remember this is all entertainment and these just are studies I have done no one specific I don't want any female spam thank you lol
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!!
If u try this now in the Obama era.. You will get WhAt!!!, Get the fuck out of here!! I look beautiful your mother muthafucka!, here my number 1-800 get lost, You wanna walk, walk up your mother ass!!!
Yes sad but true!! See we can blame the female that the old fashioned way is gone. But hey we kinda mess it up by when a nice looking lady walks by we a) grab her arm and growl yo come here what's good for tonite!! B) At club we try to dance behind them with a erection harder than brimstone C) If we say hi and they don't reply. We may say " YO what the fuck, O you aint gonna say hi fuck you bitch U bitch slut slut slut!!!
Now some females may actually like that but those are the ones that listen to DMX!! Now I've done a study some men talk to girls for long periods of time think their going somewhere and are getting no where,and when I mean no where I mean like you tryin to find parkin on wall street No where!! Then when you find out, you end up watching re-runs of Hogan heroes or Sex in city not by accidnet but because your tryin to find answers. Well here's some tips that might let you know before hand she not interested!!
1) If the text messages go from hey how was your day or I miss you to just simple texts like.( Hey). (K). Or (smh). :( or. I guess or simply ............... She doesn't want you
2) If you only talk thru text and never received a call ever and you do call and she send you to voice mail and she texts you back and say I don't like speakin on phone but talks to others, cmon dog she has a phone so she can talk she can text on computer lol she doesn't want you!!!
3) If u tell her she looks good and she replys don't you have work to do ..... She doesn't want you.
4) Fellas if you do get the date and she goes on and on about how great all her ex boyfriends are during dinner and recieves $500 dollars gifts from him still and says we just friends she doesn't want you!!
5) If you ask her out on a date and she say no I'm busy but that same day goes to same place you wanted to go with her girlfriend ... She doesn't want you!!!
6) If u guys speak and she goes on and on about how all guys are dogsss all day .. Man just leave her alone!!
Now I may not have answered all of them but ladies and men please add on to the madness in the comments!!!
Remember this is all entertainment and these just are studies I have done no one specific I don't want any female spam thank you lol
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!!
THE LATE NIGHT GAS
O SHIT I FARTED WHILE I WAS SLEEPIN DID SHE HEAR IT ? HOW MANY OF US HAVE CHILLED WITH A FEMALE GOT THE THAT CHANCE 2 SPEND THE NIGHT AT HER CRIB AND U ROLL OVER ON YOUR STOMACH GET REAL COMFARTBLE FORGET THAT U ATE ALOT OF MACARONI AND U KNOW DAMN WELL U BEEN HOLDING THAT SUPRISE ALL NIGHT ON YOUR STOMACH SO IT GOES AWAY U LAY THEIR FOR YOUR FIRST NIGHT NO MUSIC PLAYIN NO T.V ON U LAY ON YOUR STOMACHS SHE JUST HAPPENS TO LAY HER HEAD ON YOUR BACK NOW YOUR LOVIN IT YOU FALL ASLEEP U DONT EVEN KNOW IT NOT A SOUND IN THE HOUSE U CAN HEAR ONLY MAYBE HER SNORE IF SHE DOES ARE NOT THE ROOM IS SET 4 A VERY PLEASNT SLEEP AND SHE LOOKS SO PEACEFUL YOUR KNOCKED OUT WITH NOTHIN ON YOUR MIND AND BRWAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!U JUMP UP LIKE O SHIT THE FIRST THING U SAY IS DID SHE HEAR THAT SHE HAD 2 IT WOKE U UP YOU LOOK AT HER NOW SHE WAKES UP AND ASK U HEY WATS WRONG BUT SHE LOOKS GUILTY WHY MAYBE BECAUSE AN HOUR BEFORE U LET GO SHE HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCE!!!
(Blog done in 05)
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!!
(Blog done in 05)
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!!
FASHION in CONDOMS
I've had it up to here!! Their has been a crime committed in our local neighborhood bodegas and walgreens. The impostors are taking over running on our turf!!!
Why is it that when I go condom shopping which is a beautiful thing, I'm going safe u know doing my part. I walk into the store to buy magnum condoms. I'm not saying this as a brag some men still buy their sneaker in girl sizes some were the big boy shoes, I wear magnums.
Now I walk in the store to buy my magnums and their sold out!!! 30 boxes gone 30 muthafuckin boxes missing sold out!!! I walk to the bodega, I say hey lemme get a magnum condom please. Sold out sir!! What this is Bullshit!! How? I ask how many does his store carry? He says 30 boxes!! Now between walgreens and the bodega that's 60 boxes with 3 magnums in each box sold out!! What my beef? Their no way in hell that everyone in my neighborhood can fit a magnum!!!
Not everyone was blessed not hating on the durex man, you know not being racist!! But I don't go buying their toddler condoms and play in their sand box! Come on in every neighborhood fact be fact their are very few magnum users. Then it hit me Bammmmm!!! Who fault is it?? Women!!! See women today they are the ruiners of safe sex!!
See men just can't home and make love to their girl with the after school free give away condom, or bring home the free hospital safe sex campaign condom!! They take one look at what you bout to put on and laugh at you!! No they wanna see that Gold wrapper!!! Damn then it me again Bammmm!!
Fashion has come all the way to the condoms now!! Soon big name companies are gonna make condoms and it won't even matter if your packing or not. I can hear it now." Girl I had sex with Alonzo!!" " What bitch Alonzo he got a small ding Dang!!!" " So what girl he had sex with me with a Burberry condom and that $500 dollar stroking in my koochie, and that turns me onnnn." " He used burberry, shit my man is packing and he used a Karl kani condom on me that cheap bastard!!" "Omg girl tell me he didn't use Karl kani on you." " Hell yeah he did then he used a fubu."" Damn girl those only cost a $1 each, leave his broke ass!!!"
This is our future people so please just buy your right sized damn condom!!!!!
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!!
Why is it that when I go condom shopping which is a beautiful thing, I'm going safe u know doing my part. I walk into the store to buy magnum condoms. I'm not saying this as a brag some men still buy their sneaker in girl sizes some were the big boy shoes, I wear magnums.
Now I walk in the store to buy my magnums and their sold out!!! 30 boxes gone 30 muthafuckin boxes missing sold out!!! I walk to the bodega, I say hey lemme get a magnum condom please. Sold out sir!! What this is Bullshit!! How? I ask how many does his store carry? He says 30 boxes!! Now between walgreens and the bodega that's 60 boxes with 3 magnums in each box sold out!! What my beef? Their no way in hell that everyone in my neighborhood can fit a magnum!!!
Not everyone was blessed not hating on the durex man, you know not being racist!! But I don't go buying their toddler condoms and play in their sand box! Come on in every neighborhood fact be fact their are very few magnum users. Then it hit me Bammmmm!!! Who fault is it?? Women!!! See women today they are the ruiners of safe sex!!
See men just can't home and make love to their girl with the after school free give away condom, or bring home the free hospital safe sex campaign condom!! They take one look at what you bout to put on and laugh at you!! No they wanna see that Gold wrapper!!! Damn then it me again Bammmm!!
Fashion has come all the way to the condoms now!! Soon big name companies are gonna make condoms and it won't even matter if your packing or not. I can hear it now." Girl I had sex with Alonzo!!" " What bitch Alonzo he got a small ding Dang!!!" " So what girl he had sex with me with a Burberry condom and that $500 dollar stroking in my koochie, and that turns me onnnn." " He used burberry, shit my man is packing and he used a Karl kani condom on me that cheap bastard!!" "Omg girl tell me he didn't use Karl kani on you." " Hell yeah he did then he used a fubu."" Damn girl those only cost a $1 each, leave his broke ass!!!"
This is our future people so please just buy your right sized damn condom!!!!!
Believe in Nick hollywood is comedy Campaign!!!
Friday, March 27, 2009
CARMEN DELORISE SANDIEGO
We end the week of with a story for the females. This story takes place in a time when men were very dominant in crime. A time were a womens place was only at male mobster side. A time were women were only bar maids, and slut entertainment for police. Were pimps were up and hoes were down!!
Well times were to change, in 1985 a women, a very powerful woman by the name of Big Moma Thang aka Ms. Piggy took over her father John Gotti family buisness when he passed away. Piggy then started a underground assasination group called the Jezebel 4!! The group consisted at first of Betty Monroe Boop, Judy Winslow(family matters), Jane Hooters Jetson. But the person who took her team world wide was ruthless a true animal she put the big J in jezebel. Carmen Delorise Sandiego!!!!
Carmen Delorise Sandiego, yes very deadly. It was her evil demanor that helped Ms.Piggy take down her competiton the Power Puff sluts, and made Piggy the only true bitch in charge. Carmen from the age of 9 was trained in the arts of all types of shit. Raised by a family of hoars, and known for her ruthless killing caught Ms.Piggy eye. Armed with knifes, all types of sex toys a red rain coat thong and nothing else. The high yellow brazilian jezebel half black hussie was a female to be reckoned with!!
See Carmen was used to kill powerful men in power. She killed many but the most memorable mission was Bin laden. She arrived in Afganistan dressed in white quilts and turbans to merge in with her surroundings as one of Bin laden many wifes. Her mission no man was able to kill him but if a female was to it make Piggy look more powerful and historic.
Around 8clock is when Bin Laden picks one of his wifes to mate with, and uma terabella bluck( Carmen in disguise) caught his eyes, he saw a women who smelled of great similac milk and legs muscle as strong as the grip on a 40 year old ape. Bin laden took Uma(Carmen) in the room and he layed down on the bed and said she show me your best or die. But Uma(Carmen) was way ahead of him. She unrobbed him and began to lick his chest and make circles around his nipples. She licked under his beard and tickled his ass at the sametime. Bin laden said " Hey woman you can do anything you want but stay away from my ass!!" As he put a M-16 to her head. She apologized to him and went back to work she pulled down his pants and oboy did it smell like garbage juice. But Carmen was a professional and she grabbed his private and continued to stroke him and all other uncensored stuff.
Bin laden enjoying what she was doin said "enough!" Let's get it own. Carmen jumped on Binladen and rode him. About 5min later Bin laden screamed as he climaxed. As he started to fall asleep Carmen threw on her hat and slit Bin Ladens neck. Only to her suprise it was a imposter. A t.v screen came on it was Bin Laden. " Ah yes Carmen Sandiego I new you would come. Are u foolish to think I'd fall for your deadly sex hahahah guards get her!!" Over a 100 guards stormed the room armed with knifes,rocks, and guns screamin" Mutha Bitchhhhhhh die!" Carmen flipped off the bed into a backflip and pulled to machine guns out her trench coat and started busting caps.
Carmen was a surgeon with the machine gun she emptied over five clip into over 700men. She threw her gun to floor and used hand to hand combat. She grabbed one man with her legs and snapped his neck and tackled on man out the castle window and disappeared. Carmen called Piggy and told her she failed. But Piggy being cold hearted said" Bitch you failed the Jezebel 4, if you ever show your face I will personally have u beatin, all your body parts broken, and left in a all man jail to be raped!!!" Carmen new Piggy was being very nice with her threat cause it could of been worse. So Carmen vanished around the world on the run from Afganistan , and Piggys gang. Hence the question were in the world is Carmen Sandiego. A glorious tale yes but this was just another Cartoon Network True Crime Story!!!!
Well times were to change, in 1985 a women, a very powerful woman by the name of Big Moma Thang aka Ms. Piggy took over her father John Gotti family buisness when he passed away. Piggy then started a underground assasination group called the Jezebel 4!! The group consisted at first of Betty Monroe Boop, Judy Winslow(family matters), Jane Hooters Jetson. But the person who took her team world wide was ruthless a true animal she put the big J in jezebel. Carmen Delorise Sandiego!!!!
Carmen Delorise Sandiego, yes very deadly. It was her evil demanor that helped Ms.Piggy take down her competiton the Power Puff sluts, and made Piggy the only true bitch in charge. Carmen from the age of 9 was trained in the arts of all types of shit. Raised by a family of hoars, and known for her ruthless killing caught Ms.Piggy eye. Armed with knifes, all types of sex toys a red rain coat thong and nothing else. The high yellow brazilian jezebel half black hussie was a female to be reckoned with!!
See Carmen was used to kill powerful men in power. She killed many but the most memorable mission was Bin laden. She arrived in Afganistan dressed in white quilts and turbans to merge in with her surroundings as one of Bin laden many wifes. Her mission no man was able to kill him but if a female was to it make Piggy look more powerful and historic.
Around 8clock is when Bin Laden picks one of his wifes to mate with, and uma terabella bluck( Carmen in disguise) caught his eyes, he saw a women who smelled of great similac milk and legs muscle as strong as the grip on a 40 year old ape. Bin laden took Uma(Carmen) in the room and he layed down on the bed and said she show me your best or die. But Uma(Carmen) was way ahead of him. She unrobbed him and began to lick his chest and make circles around his nipples. She licked under his beard and tickled his ass at the sametime. Bin laden said " Hey woman you can do anything you want but stay away from my ass!!" As he put a M-16 to her head. She apologized to him and went back to work she pulled down his pants and oboy did it smell like garbage juice. But Carmen was a professional and she grabbed his private and continued to stroke him and all other uncensored stuff.
Bin laden enjoying what she was doin said "enough!" Let's get it own. Carmen jumped on Binladen and rode him. About 5min later Bin laden screamed as he climaxed. As he started to fall asleep Carmen threw on her hat and slit Bin Ladens neck. Only to her suprise it was a imposter. A t.v screen came on it was Bin Laden. " Ah yes Carmen Sandiego I new you would come. Are u foolish to think I'd fall for your deadly sex hahahah guards get her!!" Over a 100 guards stormed the room armed with knifes,rocks, and guns screamin" Mutha Bitchhhhhhh die!" Carmen flipped off the bed into a backflip and pulled to machine guns out her trench coat and started busting caps.
Carmen was a surgeon with the machine gun she emptied over five clip into over 700men. She threw her gun to floor and used hand to hand combat. She grabbed one man with her legs and snapped his neck and tackled on man out the castle window and disappeared. Carmen called Piggy and told her she failed. But Piggy being cold hearted said" Bitch you failed the Jezebel 4, if you ever show your face I will personally have u beatin, all your body parts broken, and left in a all man jail to be raped!!!" Carmen new Piggy was being very nice with her threat cause it could of been worse. So Carmen vanished around the world on the run from Afganistan , and Piggys gang. Hence the question were in the world is Carmen Sandiego. A glorious tale yes but this was just another Cartoon Network True Crime Story!!!!
Carmen Delorise Sandiego
We end the week of with a story for the females. This story takes place in a time when men were very dominant in crime. A time were a womens place was only at male mobster side. A time were women were only bar maids, and slut entertainment for police. Were pimps were up and hoes were down!! Well times were to change, in 1985 a women, a very powerful woman by the name of Big Moma Thang aka Ms. Piggy took over her father John Gotti family buisness when he passed away. Piggy then started a underground assasination group called the Jezebel 4!! The group consisted at first of Betty Monroe Boop, Judy Winslow(family matters), Jane Hooters Jetson. But the person who took her team world wide was ruthless a true animal she put the big J in jezebel. Carmen Delorise Sandiego!!!!
Carmen Delorise Sandiego, yes very deadly. It was her evil demanor that helped Ms.Piggy take down her competiton the Power Puff sluts, and made Piggy the only true bitch in charge. Carmen from the age of 9 was trained in the arts of all types of shit. Raised by a family of hoars, and known for her ruthless killing caught Ms.Piggy eye. Armed with knifes, all types of sex toys a red rain coat thong and nothing else. The high yellow brazilian jezebel half black hussie was a female to be reckoned with!!
See Carmen was used to kill powerful men in power. She killed many but the most memorable mission was Bin laden. She arrived in Afganistan dressed in white quilts and turbans to merge in with her surroundings as one of Bin laden many wifes. Her mission no man was able to kill him but if a female was to it make Piggy look more powerful and historic.
Around 8clock is when Bin Laden picks one of his wifes to mate with, and uma terabella bluck( Carmen in disguise) caught his eyes, he saw a women who smelled of great similac milk and legs muscle as strong as the grip on a 40 year old ape. Bin laden took Uma(Carmen) in the room and he layed down on the bed and said she show me your best or die. But Uma(Carmen) was way ahead of him. She unrobbed him and began to lick his chest and make circles around his nipples. She licked under his beard and tickled his ass at the sametime. Bin laden said " Hey woman you can do anything you want but stay away from my ass!!" As he put a M-16 to her head. She apologized to him and went back to work she pulled down his pants and oboy did it smell like garbage juice. But Carmen was a professional and she grabbed his private and continued to stroke him and all other uncensored stuff.
Bin laden enjoying what she was doin said "enough!" Let's get it own. Carmen jumped on Binladen and rode him. About 5min later Bin laden screamed as he climaxed. As he started to fall asleep Carmen threw on her hat and slit Bin Ladens neck. Only to her suprise it was a imposter. A t.v screen came on it was Bin Laden. " Ah yes Carmen Sandiego I new you would come. Are u foolish to think I'd fall for your deadly sex hahahah guards get her!!" Over a 100 guards stormed the room armed with knifes,rocks, and guns screamin" Mutha Bitchhhhhhh die!" Carmen flipped off the bed into a backflip and pulled to machine guns out her trench coat and started busting caps.
Carmen was a surgeon with the machine gun she emptied over five clip into over 700men. She threw her gun to floor and used hand to hand combat. She grabbed one man with her legs and snapped his neck and tackled on man out the castle window and disappeared. Carmen called Piggy and told her she failed. But Piggy being cold hearted said" Bitch you failed the Jezebel 4, if you ever show your face I will personally have u beatin, all your body parts broken, and left in a all man jail to be raped!!!" Carmen new Piggy was being very nice with her threat cause it could of been worse. So Carmen vanished around the world on the run from Afganistan , and Piggys gang. Hence the question were in the world is Carmen Sandiego. A glorious tale yes but this was just another Cartoon Network True Crime Story!!!!
Carmen Delorise Sandiego, yes very deadly. It was her evil demanor that helped Ms.Piggy take down her competiton the Power Puff sluts, and made Piggy the only true bitch in charge. Carmen from the age of 9 was trained in the arts of all types of shit. Raised by a family of hoars, and known for her ruthless killing caught Ms.Piggy eye. Armed with knifes, all types of sex toys a red rain coat thong and nothing else. The high yellow brazilian jezebel half black hussie was a female to be reckoned with!!
See Carmen was used to kill powerful men in power. She killed many but the most memorable mission was Bin laden. She arrived in Afganistan dressed in white quilts and turbans to merge in with her surroundings as one of Bin laden many wifes. Her mission no man was able to kill him but if a female was to it make Piggy look more powerful and historic.
Around 8clock is when Bin Laden picks one of his wifes to mate with, and uma terabella bluck( Carmen in disguise) caught his eyes, he saw a women who smelled of great similac milk and legs muscle as strong as the grip on a 40 year old ape. Bin laden took Uma(Carmen) in the room and he layed down on the bed and said she show me your best or die. But Uma(Carmen) was way ahead of him. She unrobbed him and began to lick his chest and make circles around his nipples. She licked under his beard and tickled his ass at the sametime. Bin laden said " Hey woman you can do anything you want but stay away from my ass!!" As he put a M-16 to her head. She apologized to him and went back to work she pulled down his pants and oboy did it smell like garbage juice. But Carmen was a professional and she grabbed his private and continued to stroke him and all other uncensored stuff.
Bin laden enjoying what she was doin said "enough!" Let's get it own. Carmen jumped on Binladen and rode him. About 5min later Bin laden screamed as he climaxed. As he started to fall asleep Carmen threw on her hat and slit Bin Ladens neck. Only to her suprise it was a imposter. A t.v screen came on it was Bin Laden. " Ah yes Carmen Sandiego I new you would come. Are u foolish to think I'd fall for your deadly sex hahahah guards get her!!" Over a 100 guards stormed the room armed with knifes,rocks, and guns screamin" Mutha Bitchhhhhhh die!" Carmen flipped off the bed into a backflip and pulled to machine guns out her trench coat and started busting caps.
Carmen was a surgeon with the machine gun she emptied over five clip into over 700men. She threw her gun to floor and used hand to hand combat. She grabbed one man with her legs and snapped his neck and tackled on man out the castle window and disappeared. Carmen called Piggy and told her she failed. But Piggy being cold hearted said" Bitch you failed the Jezebel 4, if you ever show your face I will personally have u beatin, all your body parts broken, and left in a all man jail to be raped!!!" Carmen new Piggy was being very nice with her threat cause it could of been worse. So Carmen vanished around the world on the run from Afganistan , and Piggys gang. Hence the question were in the world is Carmen Sandiego. A glorious tale yes but this was just another Cartoon Network True Crime Story!!!!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Scrooge. W. Mcduck
Todays story isn't your regular cartoon network crime story. No todays tale is about a time of dominance,power,and war. You've herd stories of characters taking over neighborhoods,town,even states! Today we take you were a one man crime syndicate took over the world riches.
Scrooge .W. Mcduck was the adopted heir to Prince Charles,and the original first Donald Trump apprentice show winner,and american idol contestant. Scrooge is the father of one alcholic son named Donald W Duck the second. But Scrooge being so stingy, he never took care of his son which led Donald to become the first webbed foot Black Panther and was shot down dead in the struggle. Donalds kids Huey, Duey, and Luey were taken in by their grandfather Scrooge. But not out of love but for a tax claim,and he made the work minimium wage, Huey eventually died of pollio because Scrooge didn't see the need for all the boys to get vaccinations.
Now no one really knows how old Scrooge is, but he was around since Paul Revere got on that white horse to warn that the British were coming. Some say Mr. Revere bought that horse from Scrooge by trading in his wife. Now that were our story starts. You see what drove Scrooge's heart was money,power and especially war! Scrooge figured with out crime and war theirs no money.
Scrooge had money already but he wanted a piece of everyone elses money. So he decided to start wars with other countries and blame it on another country. Their was a time when the U.S thought the Japanese bombed Pearl harbor! They were fooled Scrooge hired Launch Pad Mcquack, and he hijacked a japanese plane and bombed pearl harbor and blamed it on japan. The U.s not knowin what to do came to Scrooge help. Scrooge then lent them money leaving the U.S goverment in depth to Scrooge!
Scrooge was the cause of the Boston Tea Party. He had the Bugle Boys hijack that ship for all its tea. The result they came to Scrooge for money. The great depression once again Srooge doing! The war for oil, Scrooge hired Gizmo Duck to steal the oil and blame it on Sadam Hussein. The end result the U.S came to Scrooge again for money.
Now the U.s was in great depth to Scrooge, and he let it be known. Need missles for a war fuck you pay me, country in a recession fuck you pay me, schools need money Fuck you pay me!!!! That was Scrooge mentality!! With no money to pay Scrooge the goverment was in deep shit. So Scrooge started a program called the Junior Woodchuck Money. This was no longer U.s money this was Scrooge money. See Scrooge figured he with no money in the goverment now he would be the United states only bank and this made him the wealthiest man in the world.
Only one man stood in his way. See it took a complete moron to over throw a empire such as Scrooge. Scrooge had become old and hired a succesor. That succesor was Marion Barry. Scrooge trusted Marion with everything. But Marion was a big coke head. He do anything for a hit of that sweet white powder. Marion sold the U.S goverment all of Scrooges plans and criminal deed he commited for a $5 dollar bag of cocaine which was really a bag of sugar. He was tricked by our former president Bush!! Yes the son, go figure right, well Bush then sent a whole army after Scrooge. But what helped Scrooge get away was the army that was sent was owned by Scrooge himself. Scrooge made a deal with Bush. It was said that the deal was Scrooge would give the U.s back it money if he could sleep with his grandmother!! Yes W. Bush mother!! We don't know if it happened all we know is the world is back in order and George Bush senior hasn't had sex with his wife since. But all I can say is this was another Cartoon Network True Crime Story!!!
Scrooge .W. Mcduck was the adopted heir to Prince Charles,and the original first Donald Trump apprentice show winner,and american idol contestant. Scrooge is the father of one alcholic son named Donald W Duck the second. But Scrooge being so stingy, he never took care of his son which led Donald to become the first webbed foot Black Panther and was shot down dead in the struggle. Donalds kids Huey, Duey, and Luey were taken in by their grandfather Scrooge. But not out of love but for a tax claim,and he made the work minimium wage, Huey eventually died of pollio because Scrooge didn't see the need for all the boys to get vaccinations.
Now no one really knows how old Scrooge is, but he was around since Paul Revere got on that white horse to warn that the British were coming. Some say Mr. Revere bought that horse from Scrooge by trading in his wife. Now that were our story starts. You see what drove Scrooge's heart was money,power and especially war! Scrooge figured with out crime and war theirs no money.
Scrooge had money already but he wanted a piece of everyone elses money. So he decided to start wars with other countries and blame it on another country. Their was a time when the U.S thought the Japanese bombed Pearl harbor! They were fooled Scrooge hired Launch Pad Mcquack, and he hijacked a japanese plane and bombed pearl harbor and blamed it on japan. The U.s not knowin what to do came to Scrooge help. Scrooge then lent them money leaving the U.S goverment in depth to Scrooge!
Scrooge was the cause of the Boston Tea Party. He had the Bugle Boys hijack that ship for all its tea. The result they came to Scrooge for money. The great depression once again Srooge doing! The war for oil, Scrooge hired Gizmo Duck to steal the oil and blame it on Sadam Hussein. The end result the U.S came to Scrooge again for money.
Now the U.s was in great depth to Scrooge, and he let it be known. Need missles for a war fuck you pay me, country in a recession fuck you pay me, schools need money Fuck you pay me!!!! That was Scrooge mentality!! With no money to pay Scrooge the goverment was in deep shit. So Scrooge started a program called the Junior Woodchuck Money. This was no longer U.s money this was Scrooge money. See Scrooge figured he with no money in the goverment now he would be the United states only bank and this made him the wealthiest man in the world.
Only one man stood in his way. See it took a complete moron to over throw a empire such as Scrooge. Scrooge had become old and hired a succesor. That succesor was Marion Barry. Scrooge trusted Marion with everything. But Marion was a big coke head. He do anything for a hit of that sweet white powder. Marion sold the U.S goverment all of Scrooges plans and criminal deed he commited for a $5 dollar bag of cocaine which was really a bag of sugar. He was tricked by our former president Bush!! Yes the son, go figure right, well Bush then sent a whole army after Scrooge. But what helped Scrooge get away was the army that was sent was owned by Scrooge himself. Scrooge made a deal with Bush. It was said that the deal was Scrooge would give the U.s back it money if he could sleep with his grandmother!! Yes W. Bush mother!! We don't know if it happened all we know is the world is back in order and George Bush senior hasn't had sex with his wife since. But all I can say is this was another Cartoon Network True Crime Story!!!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Barney" Maurice" Rubble
Today the story takes place in a time long long ago, A time when prostitution and gambling were both legal. There were no cops or judges so the word crime wasn't even relevant, all you had was honor, trust and loyalty.
We take this story to big city of Bedrock. They say if you rocked in Bedrock you can rock anywhere. Bedrock was the home to the biggest mafia family, the Flinstones!! The head was Fred "Boss" Flinstone and his wife Wilma "Joleta Ronnie" Flinstone. No one and I mean no one fucked with the Flinstones! Why? because Fred had his main man his ace boon, his brother from another mother and sidekick Barney "Maurice Jones" Rubble.
Yes Barney Rubble also known as The Bone collector!! He received his name because in Bedrock fossils were a source of money, and whoever had the Bones had the power!! Barney would hijack people’s dinosaurs kill and strip these creatures and sell the Fossils. This made Fred very wealthy. He eventually made Barney a made man. Fred brought Barney in the family around his kids and wife. Fred had one rule - everything is yours but never ever touch my wife. If you new Barney his one weakness was women but that’s another story. Barney was left in charge of a casino called the Yabba Dabb Doo. This club was already worth over 20 million, but when Barney took over he tripled its worth. Barney ran an underground strip club underneath the casino.
Barney was great he had prostitutes coming from everywhere. He even recruited these bad space ho's Mary and Jane Jetson. Yes George Jetson wife and daughter. Barney didn't give a fuck he had George killed and Bedrocked to death as an example. A bedrock death is the worst, you’re tied to the floor and an avalanche tramples you to your death. In this club Barney met a hoe named Betty "Jawbone" Rubble. A born freak and was nuthin but trouble. Fred warned Barney bout her but Barney didn't listen and after a week he married Betty. They even adopted a child named BamBam because Betty couldn't have children for she had too many STDs, and Barney and her only use brontasauras condoms. Betty was a big Sabertooh coke addict. Her habit then rubbed of on Barney. She told Barney “your the man why you the sidekick you can take this all over!!!” Barney being in loved then gave in. One day Fred came home to see Barney having sex with his wife Wilma who was tied up, and BamBam was assaultin Pebbles. Fred said "How Fuckin dare you you muth...”and Bam Barney shot Fred dead, then he shot Wilma in the face and fed then to the family rockwiler Dino.
Barney realizing what he did came home crying to Betty. "Why bitch, why you made me kill my fr....”and Bam shot between the eyes Betty shot Barney dead. It was all Betty’s plan to take the family down and takeover. But Fred before he died always knew this was gonna happen and trained Dino if he died to sic and kill whoever brang harm to him and as Betty turned her back Dino jumped on her back and mauled her to death.
Yes sad but this was a True CarToon Network Crime Story!!
We take this story to big city of Bedrock. They say if you rocked in Bedrock you can rock anywhere. Bedrock was the home to the biggest mafia family, the Flinstones!! The head was Fred "Boss" Flinstone and his wife Wilma "Joleta Ronnie" Flinstone. No one and I mean no one fucked with the Flinstones! Why? because Fred had his main man his ace boon, his brother from another mother and sidekick Barney "Maurice Jones" Rubble.
Yes Barney Rubble also known as The Bone collector!! He received his name because in Bedrock fossils were a source of money, and whoever had the Bones had the power!! Barney would hijack people’s dinosaurs kill and strip these creatures and sell the Fossils. This made Fred very wealthy. He eventually made Barney a made man. Fred brought Barney in the family around his kids and wife. Fred had one rule - everything is yours but never ever touch my wife. If you new Barney his one weakness was women but that’s another story. Barney was left in charge of a casino called the Yabba Dabb Doo. This club was already worth over 20 million, but when Barney took over he tripled its worth. Barney ran an underground strip club underneath the casino.
Barney was great he had prostitutes coming from everywhere. He even recruited these bad space ho's Mary and Jane Jetson. Yes George Jetson wife and daughter. Barney didn't give a fuck he had George killed and Bedrocked to death as an example. A bedrock death is the worst, you’re tied to the floor and an avalanche tramples you to your death. In this club Barney met a hoe named Betty "Jawbone" Rubble. A born freak and was nuthin but trouble. Fred warned Barney bout her but Barney didn't listen and after a week he married Betty. They even adopted a child named BamBam because Betty couldn't have children for she had too many STDs, and Barney and her only use brontasauras condoms. Betty was a big Sabertooh coke addict. Her habit then rubbed of on Barney. She told Barney “your the man why you the sidekick you can take this all over!!!” Barney being in loved then gave in. One day Fred came home to see Barney having sex with his wife Wilma who was tied up, and BamBam was assaultin Pebbles. Fred said "How Fuckin dare you you muth...”and Bam Barney shot Fred dead, then he shot Wilma in the face and fed then to the family rockwiler Dino.
Barney realizing what he did came home crying to Betty. "Why bitch, why you made me kill my fr....”and Bam shot between the eyes Betty shot Barney dead. It was all Betty’s plan to take the family down and takeover. But Fred before he died always knew this was gonna happen and trained Dino if he died to sic and kill whoever brang harm to him and as Betty turned her back Dino jumped on her back and mauled her to death.
Yes sad but this was a True CarToon Network Crime Story!!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
OSCAR THE GROUCH
In 70s, way before the crack area was in effect,before the start of reagonomics. A child was born to two fathers(meaning their was no mother)Oscar Delonius Grouch. A very young child born to two sisters and ninety-nine brothers! (Same parent remember both fathers no mother don't ask!) Oscar Delonius Grouch attended ps34 in lower east side Sesame street. He started his first job at the age of nine has a meat packer for KeyFood. Very smart and bright Oscar was annoyed that he didn't dress as fresh as the other kids,annoyed that he learned that he should have a mother and a father not just two fathers,annoyed that he lived with two sisters and ninety-nine brothers and one more on the way. Oscar wanted out, so by early 80s he hooked up with long time friend and three time felons Bert rogers,and Ernie boston. Bert and Ernie were very known on Sesame Street as very notorious and dangerous stick up kids. Oscar new with his smarts and Bert and Ernie knowledge of weapons they could take over not only Sesame Street but also Muppet Land. As the drug era moved in Oscar Bert and Ernie formed the well known Bang Bang Sesame gang!! They took over all of Sesame street with their coke dealin and gun slinging. Orvil J snuffie was their biggest customer( You know him as SNuffalufacus)Snuffie would by thosands of dollar worth of that hard white isralien coke from the gang a day. Not everyone was happy with the new gang,they took over Mr.Rogers hood and started setting shop on Muppet land. This made Big momma thang aka MS.piggy very upset.She was not to be messed with,and I mean not to exscuse my french but fucked with either!!! Piggy was known to kill just for about anything and when she found out her bitch kermie who was her number on hoe/runner (kermit the frog was a hooker for ms piggie,she never loved him but only the money he made for her stripping)was taken down by Oscars gang she became furious.But this time she didn't get violent,she set the gang up in a very very big drug deal that involved cops. Both Bert and Ernie were shot not killed but paralyzed and over 500,000,000,000 of heroin money was seized by the authorities. Piggy also had Oscars family both sister 99 brothers and the one on they way slain and found in a ice cream truck!! Both fathers were taken into prison because they wouldn't tell were Oscar was, not because they didn't snitch but because they had so many kids they lost count they didn't even remember Oscar. Now in the new Obama era never to be seen again some say u can find Oscar in some thrash can residing in East Harlem.
OSCAR DELONIOUS GROUCH
This story takes place in the early 70s way before the drug era, way before Reaganomics. Their was young child born to a family of two daughters and 99 brothers , bred by two fathers(yes two men dont ask). Oscar Delonious Grouch was born into this family, a family who lived on the lower east side of Sesame st. Oscar attended p.s 567 elemtary school but because of his oder he had to learn from outside the school walls. He would study from balled pieces of paper the kids threw out. Although very bright Oscar grew very annoyed that he was dressing as fresh as his friends,annoyed that he was born to a family of two sisters and 99 brothers and one on the way, even more that he learned it wasnt normal to have two fathers and no mother!!!
Oscar new it was time for a change and he joined his long time friends Bert Roberts and Ernie Johnson. Now these two were 3 time felons and very very dangerous stick up kids. Oscar new with his smarts and Bert and Ernie's well known criminal records they could take over all of sesame street if they needed to. Nine years past and thats just what they did. As soon as the crack era moved in Oscar was all over it. They formed the notorious O.B.E GANG(OSCAR,BERT,ERNIE) their number one customer was Walter J Snuffie aka SNUFFALUFACUS. Man this guy would buy bricks of coke from them buy the barrel. He would spend 3,ooo dollars worth a day. The O.B.E even took over Mr.Rogers neighborhood kidnappin the king and used Mr.Rogers imagination train to peddle lots of heroin.
The gang was huge but not everyone was happy. See what they didnt know was that they moved onto muppets turf and they shot down a hooker name Kermie, and if u knew Kermie you knew that he was BIG MOMMA THANG AKA Ms.PIGGY bottom bitch. Ms. Piggy was a notorious pimp and well known arsonist. She never loved Kermie but he was her number one hooker and brought her millions with his special tongue ring techniques. Piggy was known to skin her enemies, to embarass and them. But she wanted Oscar head, she had them set up with her cop friends. Yes Piggy had cops in her pocket. In 1995 she had the team set up. Bert and Ernie were both shot,paraylyzed not killed and arrested on a drug trade. About 500,000,000,000 dollars of rich princess jasmine isralien cocaine was seized and Bert and ernie were arrested.
All of Oscars family was killed by Piggy, yes the two sister and 99 brothers were slain even the brother on the way. The two fathers were taken in custody because they wouldnt snitch. Not because they didnt want to but because they had 99boys they didnt even remember OSCAR!!!!!!
Well now left with nothing you can find Oscar in a trash can some say he selling cans for mc griddles, I dont know but this was a true CARTOON NETWORK CRIME STORY.
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